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Understanding Someone Angry
Often, people get angry because of unfulfilled needs. Trying to understand which unfulfilled need is the cause of anger is a difficult thing to do. Anger may be aimed at a person, who is oblivious of the anger she/he is causing. In such cases, our anger towards that person may be uncalled for. However, a conflict exists with that person and the situation still needs to be resolved. The negotiation process itself may reveal hidden truths about oneself and the other party that neither is aware of.
People deal with anger in different ways, but generally the result is considered either constructive or destructive. Anger is considered “good” when the expression of anger leads to a constructive result and to the solution of a persistent problem or improved conditions. On the other hand, anger is considered “bad”, when the repressed feeling of anger ends up with the person feeling physically sick and/or depressed. At the same time, when people express their feelings of anger in a destructive way, they hurt not only themselves but others as well.
Anger and strong emotion vary from individual to individual and from situation to situation. Yet, anger continues to exist, and as such, we must learn to deal with it constructively. This can be done by being aware of strong emotions and by developing skills to deal with them effectively.
It is extremely difficult to deal, or communicate, with someone who is angry whether that person’s anger is aimed at you or someone/something else. One’s immediate reaction to anger is to defend oneself. This defense can be in the form of a counter attack or withdrawal. However, neither of these two extreme strategies addresses the root cause of the anger/problem.
We all have our own different styles and approaches to dealing with problems. In dealing with someone who is angry, our attempts to calm the other person down may instead result in further aggravating the person's temper. On the other hand, we may wish to delay dealing with the problem in order to give the angry person time to calm down. If our style and approach in dealing with the situation are not appropriate for and sensitive to the situation, we may find ourselves becoming entangled in the emotion of anger.
Often, people get angry because of unfulfilled needs. Trying to understand which unfulfilled need is the cause of anger is a difficult thing to do. Anger may be aimed at a person, who is oblivious of the anger she/he is causing. In such cases, our anger towards that person may be uncalled for. However, a conflict exists with that person and the situation still needs to be resolved. The negotiation process itself may reveal hidden truths about oneself and the other party that neither is aware of.
People deal with anger in different ways, but generally the result is considered either constructive or destructive. Anger is considered “good” when the expression of anger leads to a constructive result and to the solution of a persistent problem or improved conditions. On the other hand, anger is considered “bad”, when the repressed feeling of anger ends up with the person feeling physically sick and/or depressed. At the same time, when people express their feelings of anger in a destructive way, they hurt not only themselves but others as well.
Anger and strong emotion vary from individual to individual and from situation to situation. Yet, anger continues to exist, and as such, we must learn to deal with it constructively. This can be done by being aware of strong emotions and by developing skills to deal with them effectively.
It is extremely difficult to deal, or communicate, with someone who is angry whether that person’s anger is aimed at you or someone/something else. One’s immediate reaction to anger is to defend oneself. This defense can be in the form of a counter attack or withdrawal. However, neither of these two extreme strategies addresses the root cause of the anger/problem.
We all have our own different styles and approaches to dealing with problems. In dealing with someone who is angry, our attempts to calm the other person down may instead result in further aggravating the person's temper. On the other hand, we may wish to delay dealing with the problem in order to give the angry person time to calm down. If our style and approach in dealing with the situation are not appropriate for and sensitive to the situation, we may find ourselves becoming entangled in the emotion of anger.
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