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Bullying is a very important and very prevalent issue within schools and child care programs. It is crucial to take all negative behavior seriously and to remedy the situation in the best possible way. Because of the prevalence of bullying, many students, parents and child care professionals are quick to categorize all negative behavior as bullying but this is not always the case.
Is it bullying?
Before a teacher or caregiver can assess whether an act is in fact bullying, we must know how to identify it. Often, "bullying" is a broad term that is used to describe any sort of rude, mean, or negative behavior toward another person. It is important to note that not all of this behavior is in fact bullying. Let's take a closer look.
Rude=Inadvertently saying or doing something that hurts someone else.
An adult and a child's definition of "rude" may be very different from one another, so it is important to specify. In a child's world, rudeness may be a student cutting another student in line, one student burping in another's face, someone bragging about getting a higher score or even throwing a ball at someone too fast. When considered individually, these may seem like instances of bullying to some children, but when taken in context, we find that these are in fact individual instances of unplanned inconsiderate rudeness based only on thoughtlessness, poor manners or selfishness, not meant to hurt someone.
Mean=Purposefully saying or doing something to hurt someone once (or maybe twice.)
The biggest difference between "mean" and "rude" is usually intention. Rudeness is usually unintentional, while mean behavior is usually intended to hurt someone in some way. Kids show meanness when they criticize each other's clothing, intelligence, socioeconomic status and more. They are purposely demeaning one of their peers out of anger, frustration, or lack of empathy. This behavior usually only happens once or twice, and while mean and very hurtful, is not a sign of bullying on it's own.
Bullying=Intentionally aggressive behavior, repeated over time, that involves an imbalance of power.
Bullying is very serious and usually encompasses three key elements: an intent to harm, a power imbalance, and repeated acts or threats of aggressive behavior. Bullies continue to show aggressive behavior to others repeatedly with no regret even if the other party shows signs of hurt or ask the bully to stop.
Bullying may be in any of the following forms:
It is important to note the difference of these three categories of behavior and know how to respond and react.
Is it bullying?
Before a teacher or caregiver can assess whether an act is in fact bullying, we must know how to identify it. Often, "bullying" is a broad term that is used to describe any sort of rude, mean, or negative behavior toward another person. It is important to note that not all of this behavior is in fact bullying. Let's take a closer look.
Rude=Inadvertently saying or doing something that hurts someone else.
An adult and a child's definition of "rude" may be very different from one another, so it is important to specify. In a child's world, rudeness may be a student cutting another student in line, one student burping in another's face, someone bragging about getting a higher score or even throwing a ball at someone too fast. When considered individually, these may seem like instances of bullying to some children, but when taken in context, we find that these are in fact individual instances of unplanned inconsiderate rudeness based only on thoughtlessness, poor manners or selfishness, not meant to hurt someone.
Mean=Purposefully saying or doing something to hurt someone once (or maybe twice.)
The biggest difference between "mean" and "rude" is usually intention. Rudeness is usually unintentional, while mean behavior is usually intended to hurt someone in some way. Kids show meanness when they criticize each other's clothing, intelligence, socioeconomic status and more. They are purposely demeaning one of their peers out of anger, frustration, or lack of empathy. This behavior usually only happens once or twice, and while mean and very hurtful, is not a sign of bullying on it's own.
Bullying=Intentionally aggressive behavior, repeated over time, that involves an imbalance of power.
Bullying is very serious and usually encompasses three key elements: an intent to harm, a power imbalance, and repeated acts or threats of aggressive behavior. Bullies continue to show aggressive behavior to others repeatedly with no regret even if the other party shows signs of hurt or ask the bully to stop.
Bullying may be in any of the following forms:
- Physical aggression was once the common form of bullying—the “sticks and stones” that made adults in charge stand up and take notice. This kind of bullying includes hitting, punching, kicking, spitting, tripping, hair-pulling, slamming a child into a locker, and a range of other behaviors that involve physical aggression.
- Verbal aggression is what many parents advise us to “just ignore.” We now know that despite the old adage, words and threats can, indeed, hurt and can even cause profound, lasting harm.
- Relational aggression is a form of bullying in which kids use their friendship—or the threat of taking their friendship away—to hurt someone. Social exclusion, shunning, hazing, and rumor spreading are all forms of this pervasive type of bullying that can be especially beguiling and crushing to kids.
- Cyberbullying is a specific form of bullying that involves technology. It is the use of computers, cell phones, tablets and other technology to send aggressive messages and harmful correspondence.
It is important to note the difference of these three categories of behavior and know how to respond and react.
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What to do about bullying
All children should be in a supportive, caring and safe environment while at home, school and after school care. Bullying can often interfere with a child's feeling of security. As a child care professional, you have the capability of educating the children in your care about the seriousness of bullying and empower them with the knowledge that it will not be tolerated. |
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Where to begin?
- Help kids understand bullying. Talk about what bullying is and how to stand up to it safely. Tell kids bullying is unacceptable. Make sure kids know how to get help.
- Keep the lines of communication open. Check in with kids often. Listen to them. Know their friends, ask about school, and understand their concerns.
- Encourage kids to do what they love. Special activities, interests, and hobbies can boost confidence, help kids make friends, and protect them from bullying behavior.
- Model how to treat others with kindness and respect.
The course does not "save" your progress. Use the checklist provided to track your progress, and click on the link in the menu to return to where you left off in the training.
