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Module 8: Interactions and GuidanceEncouragement |
Page 10
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Children need love and, like all human beings, need to know they are loved, that they are accepted and cherished for the unique people they are. This sounds simple enough, but many of the children who need love the most are the ones who get it least.
It is easy for us to love and care for the child who fits our picture of how children should be (clean, neat, cooperative, bright, independent), but what about the ones who try our patience day-in and day-out -- the ones who find ways to challenge us so much it hurts?
Do we truly love them unconditionally, regardless of their behavior toward us?
Are we relieved on days when they don't show up?
Do these children know they are so difficult for us?
It is easy for us to love and care for the child who fits our picture of how children should be (clean, neat, cooperative, bright, independent), but what about the ones who try our patience day-in and day-out -- the ones who find ways to challenge us so much it hurts?
Do we truly love them unconditionally, regardless of their behavior toward us?
Are we relieved on days when they don't show up?
Do these children know they are so difficult for us?
You bet they do!
And that encourages them to continue their inappropriate behavior since negative attention is better than no attention at all.
If we are to reach all children, we must find ways of letting them know that we do love them -- no matter what.
And we must discover ways of creating a sense of belonging for them -- no matter what.
The ability to balance one’s own needs with the needs of others is a high level skill. It is possible that one skill that is more difficult is assisting children to learn it. Adults frequently have the misconception that children know how to behave, and that mistaken behavior is the result of a willful decision to do “wrong”. Truthfully, the decision to act out or to defy results from the child’s not yet having the cognitive and/or emotional resources necessary for more appropriate responses.
And that encourages them to continue their inappropriate behavior since negative attention is better than no attention at all.
If we are to reach all children, we must find ways of letting them know that we do love them -- no matter what.
And we must discover ways of creating a sense of belonging for them -- no matter what.
The ability to balance one’s own needs with the needs of others is a high level skill. It is possible that one skill that is more difficult is assisting children to learn it. Adults frequently have the misconception that children know how to behave, and that mistaken behavior is the result of a willful decision to do “wrong”. Truthfully, the decision to act out or to defy results from the child’s not yet having the cognitive and/or emotional resources necessary for more appropriate responses.
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